Reflecting on What Life Brings Before Me

During the past few months change has been evident.  Winter to Spring, cold to warm weather and friends who have passed away and are no longer.  It seems like every week I learn of one of my friends getting hit with the “cancer” thing and going very fast. Sad… sad enough to make me think that there is nothing in this world worth enough to let the things one loves to pass by without any actions.  I think about the people I know who have left a print in my life and I haven’t seen in a long time.   I think about my partner, my parents, and sibling and when will I see them. In my mind is also my job in which as a consultant I have to be opened to any assignment or job that comes along.  But deep in my soul is my partner and the love I have to share for a very very long time.

All of these things make me think that I have to take every day and treasure every interaction I have with every one of them …. family, friends, loved ones.  Yet so little time to be able to accomplish what I want.   Summer is so short and I love RVing, house responsibilities and more get in the way of all I want to do… how can I have enough time to be able to spend doing the things I want to do with the people I want to share them with.    I often hear my co-workers and even friends saying they will retire when they are 70 yrs. old. I cannot imagine me working for another 13 years.   As years go by and my body weakens I want to make sure I have the energy to enjoy life after “work.”   I am certainly working on having all in place to be able to slow down in about 3 years time.  I don’t need richness, all I need is the basic necessities covered and health to enjoy the people I love and the place where we call “home.”

Conquering fears have been my latest ventures.  Life arrangements have put us in different places a few hours away.  Although I love camping and meeting our friends at the rallies it was never on the agenda for me to drive the big coach by myself to fulfill our club board member commitments; but this weekend I had to do it on my own.  The power of affirmations and self encouragement is what got me through what it would be an impossible task.  Days before the rally I began to say to myself “why am I worried, I have done this hundreds of times” and I have even done it on my own.  When we took a seasonal site in Lake George we drove the truck and the RV and I was driving by myself as we had to leave the RV in Lake George for the season. So what was the difference?  My soul and my mind were telling me there is no one behind me and am alone on the road.  Daily I drive a big truck, an F150, which makes me feel comfortable on the road when the idiots cut in front of me trying to get there… before me. So what was so different this time driving the big 32′ coach? Nothing really, except my inner self wanting me to doubt my ability.  But I got it… few days before my trip I began to prepare my soul and my mind and I told myself I can do this and it is like driving my truck.  We have a  friend who drives a similar coach on her own and I kept telling to myself she does it so I CAN DO IT.   Well I did. I went and came back and during the ride I felt no apprehension.

Lesson learned WE are our worse enemy.  Our minds, that inner self who keeps telling us “you cannot do it” is what keeps us behind.  I believe in speaking affirmations and when I do it I feel strong, I talk to myself and am able to conquer.  I was watching one of the Star Wars movies and there was a war and a brave soldier went to do an act of valor and he kept repeating “the force is with me and am with the force” he was able to conquer his fear.  I have used that phrase over and over and it gives me strength.  At any rate I was able to drive the coach and feel confident that in-spite of being alone I had company. I conquered and accomplished my goals. I was determined to find “fun around the corner” in-spite of the issues I needed to conquer.  I had fun, I networked and I got to know people who in the past I just had simple conversations. It was certainly worth conquering all of the fears.

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5 Replies to “Reflecting on What Life Brings Before Me”

  1. Ah, our fears are our worst enemies sometimes. I learned the definition of fear: F=future -E-events =A-appearing= R- real– a long time ago. I know it’s true b/c I fight my fears daily. Proud of you young lady. Charlotte

  2. Great blog Mary totally relate to ur fears. I have learned that walking through my fears, that is when I receive courage. Not before but after fighting the fear and doing the work????